The Conversation You’re Not Having Might Be the One That Changes Everything
What breaks a team isn’t usually the big blow-ups.
It’s the quiet stuff.
It’s the tension no one names.
The awkward meeting that never gets mentioned again.
The slow slipping of deadlines.
The unspoken frustrations that settle in and wear people down.
Even the most talented, committed teams can stall out because of this kind of conflict. And when that happens, progress slows, trust thins out, and energy fades.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Even Great Teams Get Stuck
I recently worked with a team that was full of energy and talent. Every person brought creativity, drive, and deep expertise.
But when it came to launching a new project? Things fell apart.
The team would get excited… and then stall.
People got quiet.
Decisions were delayed.
Momentum fizzled.
Finally, one of the leaders said, “We like each other. We want to do good work. But there’s something we’re not naming, and it’s getting in the way.”
That’s when we introduced one simple, powerful question.
“What conversation are we not having?”
Just asking this creates a shift.
It opens a safe space for people to speak honestly. It tells your team, “I want to know the thing that’s getting in our way, even if it’s uncomfortable.”
You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to make it safe to ask the question.
Conflict Isn’t the Problem—Avoidance Is
The best teams are not conflict-free.
They’re actually conflict-resilient. They have the trust and tools to face conflict together and move through it.
The most diverse teams I work with tend to have the most conflict. That’s because they bring different perspectives, ideas, and experiences to the table. But those same teams are also the most productive… when they feel safe enough to speak up.
Avoiding conflict only holds your team back.
Lead the Way by Knowing Your Strengths
As a leader, you set the tone.
If you model avoidance, your team will too.
But if you’re willing to name the hard stuff, they’ll start to follow your lead.
This is where Strengths-based leadership makes a real difference. When you understand how your natural strengths affect your response to conflict, you can lead with clarity, not reactivity.
For example:
If you lead with the Harmony or Empathy Strengths, you might avoid conflict to keep the peace.
If you lead with the Command or Significance Strengths, you might unintentionally escalate it.
Knowing this about yourself helps you pause, reset, and choose a better response that invites your team into honest, productive conversations.
Connection and Candor
No matter what type of leadership role you have, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to choose between kindness and honesty.
In fact, the healthiest teams have both. They support each other and challenge each other. They trust each other enough to tell the truth and are strong enough to hear it.
So the next time your team feels stuck, I encourage you to ask:
“What conversation are we not having?”
It might just be the question that gets you moving again.
Need Help Making That Space?
I’d love to support you. Helping leaders open up honest conversations and build conflict-resilient teams is one of my greatest Strengths.
Book a complimentary consultation, and let’s talk about what’s holding your team back. Book your session now.